...Nervous Wings...

"Don't talk to strangers!"

An admonishment I often heard from my Mom and Grandma while growing up. Apparently I never understood their advice. If someone showed an interest in talking to me, I talked back! Granted, this was in a safer time. A time when reading the newspaper, and watching the local news on a black and white television every night at 6pm was the primary source of news for most. A time before Amber Alerts. When kidnappings were a very rare thing and apparently happened only to people who had influence and money.

The fear that your child is going to be snatched when you turn your back is not a new fear. Parents hover protectively over their children from the time they are born. It is only natural that we begin to teach our young early on that talking to strangers is risky business. You just never know what lies around the corner, waiting to turn your world upside down.

Once, I threw a fit about something in a department store. As the story goes, I was around three years old. My Mom and Grandma were out shopping and somewhere along the way I became stubborn and began to cry. We were all walking, no shopping cart or stroller to contain me. I was an independent little girl they say. As the fit escalated I threw myself down onto the store floor and continued to wail. My Mom looked down at me and calmly said, "When you are done throwing your fit, you can catch up with Grandma and me." She continued walking down the aisle. I continued to throw my fit, but Grandma slipped off to the side, hid behind a clothes rack and watched. Once I realized that my Mom was walking away from me and I was going to be alone in that big, scary store, I straightened up, quit crying and scrambled to catch up with her. Grandma slipped back into the aisle and quietly took my hand as we continued on our way.

Today, I love talking to strangers! I love talking to people in general. I learn a lot from casual conversations with common, every day folk. People just like me, who have fears and joys, stories and concerns. People who just enjoy talking because it makes them happy.

I often feel "butterflies" in my tummy when I am facing something new and I wonder if it is because I watched my Mom walk off that day and leave me wailing in the aisle. I don't think that it was cruel of her to do what she did. It taught me a few lessons. Lessons that have stuck with me for over 50 years. Throwing a fit doesn't accomplish much. There is safety in numbers. The world can be a scary place when you face it alone. Trust the ones you love, even when you don't necessarily agree with their actions or advice. There is usually someone watching out for you when you are out of control and when you calm down, they resume their place by your side.

I am nervous right now. I have sent out the invitations for my very first book signing event. I chose to have my first book signing at our home, where things are familiar and I will have my husband and two very close family members there as support and encouragement. But I am nervous. What if no one shows up? What if no one is interested in my book? What if they don't like my home? What if they don't like what I am serving? What if my hand cramps up and I can't write my name? What if...what if...what if?

I have invited my neighbors and writing peers, along with some family and close friends, but even though I feel like I may have a good turn-out, that nagging "What if..." still flutters in my tummy. In essence, this is my "coming out" party! I am showcasing my hard work and celebrating a milestone that has been years in the making. I look forward to sharing my excitement with those around me, but if I am being perfectly honest here, I am currently a social butterfly with nervous wings.

One week from today my event will be here. One week from today, our home will be dressed and ready for company. One week from today, the pies will be cut, the coffee and tea hot, the table set as I anxiously await the ringing of the doorbell to announce that at least ONE person shares in my excitement besides my husband! One week from today, you may feel an extra breeze around you. My nervous wings will be working overtime, stirring up the air. When you feel that breeze, say an extra prayer for me that all will be well, and people will enjoy themselves. After all, that is what this is all about, sharing my joy with those around me and seeing them smile! Who knows, maybe a stranger will wander in and we will chat. I will smile and look to the heavens, thanking my Mom and Grandma for giving me the courage to just be me even when I talk to strangers!